The Attachment Effect: Our Relationship Blueprint for Life | Peter Lovenheim


I want you to think back to before you can even remember. Kidding. But, seriously, ever wonder how your mother's relationship with you as a baby influenced your life as an adult? And how about your relationship with your own kids - what effect are you having on their future relationships? Sabrina's future partner -- you're welcome. Ha!

In The Attachment Effect: Exploring the Powerful Ways Our Earliest Bond Shapes Our Relationships and LivesPeter Lovenheim shares this quote from psychologist Theodore Waters: "There is a thread connecting life in your mother's arms and life in your lover's arms."

In our podcast discussion, Lovenheim talk about how our relationship with our primary caregiver in those first critical years of life can play out in all types of future relationships, romantic and platonic. He also shares:

  • The different attachment styles and their characteristics

  • The surprising benefits of each attachment style, including the anxious and avoidant styles

  • How temperament and environment come into play

  • How to heal your relationship style and become an "earned secure" as an adult

  • The history behind attachment theory

    Subscribe + Listen on the Go: Apple Podcasts | Stitcher

    Join our InstagramFacebook, and private community.




Peter Lovenheim is an author and journalist whose articles and essays have appeared in The New York Times, Parade, The Washington Post, and elsewhere. He teaches nonfiction writing at The Writers Center in Bethesda, Maryland.

His previous book is In the Neighborhood, winner of The First Annual Zócalo Public Square Book Prize.


check out our partner

This week's episode is brought to you by Majka nourishing lactation powder and lactation bites. Go to (Don't forget code: LoveMajka for 20% off first order!)


Owen O’Neill: sound engineer

Jeremy Turner: original theme composition

Natalie Truly for brainstorming